Men vs Women

Men versus women.  This will always be a thing, right?  Especially in marriage!  LOL!  Things can go swimmingly along and then whamo!  Someone steps on someone else’s toes and it all goes to heck.  GAH!

This time, instead of fuming and playing the blame game and trying to pin the argument on my husband, I went into our room and landed on my oversized chair, curled up into a ball and just called on the name of God and asked for wisdom.  I’m not sure I said anything else to Him…. but in the quiet, He revealed to me that I had disrespected my husband by forgetting what we had talked about that morning.  Sadly, I forget a lot.  Not sure whether it’s genetic (my dad forgets a lot, too) or laziness. This is yet another reason that my word for 2018 is deliberate, but I digress.

Disrespect, to a man, is basically a kiss of death.  Seriously.  You can take away love and he’ll survive.  But disrespect him and you have stomped all over him.  It’s how he’s wired.  It’s how God made him.  And as women, we just don’t really GET it.  One of my favorite verses is Galatians 5:33…. which is super upside down.  Ready?  Here it is “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.“.  SERIOUSLY????  God, are you kidding me?

BUT, when we look at the fact that we are called to be like Christ, then this actually makes sense.  Why you ask?  Because.  Because when we lean into God and allow HIM to work on us to make us better reflections of Him, our faith grows and our love for Him grows and voilá!  Being Christlike in our marriage is then reflected.

Yeah, well, my husband doesn’t show me love, so I shouldn’t show him respect!  I’m betting some of you are saying that to me right now in your head.  Well, guess what?  TOO BAD!  Suck it up, buttercup.  If our husband isn’t being Christlike, then we are to OVER love Him in Jesus.  Yep, you heard me right… it’s the way we win him over to the “ways” of Christ.  Yet another lesson in coming closer to Jesus.  And in turn, becoming more like Him.

See???  Good stuff.  Yeah, I didn’t feel loved in this circumstance, but I can apologize and show the love of Christ and the respect that I have to my husband lessen the stress and hatred of the argument.  AND IT WORKED!!  I told him I disrespected him and I was sorry and he said “oh yeah, I guess that’s why I got so mad.”  He didn’t even realize that was the root of the problem.  I didn’t either until God showed me.  That in turn, opened up to me being able to say that I wasn’t feeling very loved, or, a better word, cherished.  I want to delve into that word in my next post.  What does cherish really look like.  Ok, back on track….

Ladies, respect your husband.  Don’t talk smack about him behind his back.  Praise him in public.  Talk about the good things he does for you.  Can’t think of any?  Here’s my challenge : You have a notes app on your phone.  Start making a list and start memorizing it.  It’ll be slow at first, but it’ll happen.  Here a quick list of things I love about my own husband…

• He is an AMAZING businessman.
• He is a wonderful provider.
• He has ALWAYS carved out time for both myself and our twin daughters.
• He makes me laugh.
• He is tender and loving.
• He is respected in the community and I am proud to be his wife.

Ok, girls…. your turn.  Start your lists NOW!!!